Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
Janice Williamson-Cox works at Martin Luther King Community Service Center. January 9, 2013. Children attended IPS in 1980s and 1990s: School 11, 55 and 91 (Montessori), John Marshall Junior High and Tech Culinary and Architecture programs.
JB: Where did you first go to school?
I’m originally from Jackson, Tennessee, where I was raised. My mother and father raised nine children-- I’m the fifth of the nine children--a mother and father who taught all of us the importance of education and not only my parents but grandparents and my great-grandparents. I can go as far back as my great-grandfather living to 104, my grandfather living to 90 and my father who’s still living now at 92. My great-grandmother, I never knew anything about her, but my grandmother who lived to be 96 and my mother who in 2012 just passed at 81. I come from a generation of families who have taught us how important education was and how important it was to instill that in their children. My parents never graduated from high school, but they had so much wisdom and knowledge to understand how important it was for all of us to acquire a good education and to implant that in our children. So, I am 500 miles away from home and been here for 37 years, living here in Indianapolis, Indiana. The only reason I moved here was because I became married and my husband and I, who lived here and also came from a very prominent home whose name is Williamson. They owned their own business here. So, I came here, married and been here ever since. I’m very proud of that.
JB: SO your story started in Tennessee. You went to school there with a very strong background in how important schooling is. Then when it came time for you to send your children off to school…I’d like to go to that time, when you were a young mom. What was school like then, at that time?
I was 21 when I had my first child. His name is Algier Williamson. I had him during the blizzard.
JB: Was that ’67?
No that was ’78. The Blizzsrd of ’78.
JB: I’m sorry. (laughs) I didn’t mean to age you. I was alive and remember both of those blizzards.
It was ’78. Algier was born, couldn’t get out for days, of course. That was my first son. Algier is now 34. Roosevelt—Rosie—was born in ’81, my second son. I lost two children in between the boys, but I was blessed to have Rosie, Roosevelt. In raising our children, I have a strong belief, just as my parents, my grandparents and my great-grandparents, how important it is for parents to be very actively involved in their children’s lives. Education is not the only [way], but that is one of the components to it. I was determined when my children entered school that I would be a very vital part of their education. They would not only have a principal or a teacher, but they would have a parent who also would know the system.
At the stages of my children’s education from Kindergarten on up, graduating high school and even college—you know, they don’t accept you [as a parent] too much there. From the onset of my children’s education, I have always been a part of every program that they participated in. It was very important that I know who was their teacher, who was the principal, who was the superintendent? And if I needed to go beyond that, I would also have a relationship with them as well. Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
JB: I would love to hear about that. Can I ask, first, where the kids went [to school]?
The boys went to School 11, but let’s go before School 11. The boys went to Kiddieland first of all. Let’s start with preschool, because that’s very important. Now I see that IPS is going to start this next school year a preschool, which I think is so important--you need to be involved cradle to grave. They were at Kiddieland, which was at 62nd and Michigan Road, used to be there. That was the first place that they attended school and I became involved with that program. Even today, I know the director, Miss Lewis. Miss Lewis was the principal at that time and had a very important role in making sure our children, our boys, were actively involved in the arts and all the different things that would mold them. They started at Kiddieland preschool, then they went to School 11. They were at School 11, off of 46th and Millersville Rd. on the East Side.
JB: How did they get to School 11?
It was a neighborhood school. That one was in my neighborhood.
JB: Did they walk?
They could walk, but I guess as a parent, I just wanted to make sure, safety was an issue for me, even walking. Their father and I always made sure that either one or the other took them to school, dropped them off at school. They also attended School 55 and School 91, which were Montessori programs. What happened was, in the Montessori, it was like a lottery. You had to actually put your child’s name in. Our oldest son Algier was the first to attend Montessori, a different type of learning process. You have to be an independent learner, if you understand the Montessori process. The same mother can have two different children, so different. We found that Algier was more apt to work with the Montessori program than Rosie. Roosevelt, the youngest, needed more structure, so we put Algier in Montessori, which was 91 and 55. Roosevelt, we saw he needed more structure, so School 11 had the structured program.
JB: Did Algier go to 91 first or start out at the local school.
Their dad, another heavy believer in education, saw that one child needed more structure than the other, so he said, let’s try this out and see how this will work for Roosevelt. We didn’t want to separate them, but sometime you have to do that for them to build the strength in them, to switch to Montessori after we got the structure. We really enjoyed School 11 for him, because it was a better fit for him. He went to Montessori for a period of time, Roosevelt, but then when Algier moved on—there’s two year’s difference—we left Rosie at School 11 to finish. He graduated from 11. It was just an elementary school.
JB: Does that mean Kindergarten through sixth grade? Or Kindergarten through eighth grade?
It was Kindergarten through sixth grade at that point.
JB: I’m always interested in that, because we’ve had changes over the year.
Quite a few changes. Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
JB: I grew up with K-8 and now my sons had K-6. I’m interested in how you navigated that. You made that point early on about knowing the teacher, the principal, the superintendent and even beyond. Was that something that you gradually started to navigate? I wonder how you knew all this. Did you have an education background?
I had what you call an instinct from a mother’s background. That doesn’t come from books. First of all, I love being a mother, I love being a parent. I love my children. I knew from the onset, by watching my own mother, who raised nine of us: Navigate. Taking care of us. She didn’t work until the last child went off to school, because Dad wanted her to be at home, but she worked, she multi-tasked. I’ve learned that when you learn how to multi-task, you can take care of home, you can take care of husband, wife, child, grandmother, neighbor. You can do that if you want to do that. But when it came to my children--God, first of all, was the most important thing—but when it came to my children, my children were what you call my top priority. Being responsible for them was to make sure that they were equipped with everything they needed in case something happened to me or their father they would be able to take care of themselves. I learned early in life, if you equip them with what they need at this young age, you don’t have to worry about it later on. They’re going to deal with challenges, but if you’ve given them the basics at the young stage…What I did was, I worked outside the home all my life. At that time, I worked for Deluxe check printers. I was a customer service representative in the [boys’] elementary years.
JB: You went to work while the kids were at school?
Oh, yeah, but if something came up at school and I needed to tend to it…I had a relationship with my coworkers and my job. I never took off work just for nothing. If I had to leave, it was because it was something very important. I’m a planner. I plan things. I meet the teacher in the school. I don’t just say, “Hi.” I sit down and talk to them about my plans for my children, what my goals were. And I want to see what their goals were, because I wanted to see that we were on the same platform.
JB: How did that go, when you would sit down? What was your experience with some of the teachers? It was so proactive of you.
(laughs) I had good relationships with all my teachers. If I had to go back to all the teachers involved in my children’s lives that are still living, they would know me as Mrs. Williamson—I was Mrs. Williamson back then--and “Algier and Rosie’s mom.” At School 11, I became the president of the parent group. When they moved at junior high stage to John Marshall, I became the president at John Marshall. And then when they went to Tech, I became the parent president at Tech. So, every stage, they always have known their mom being in leadership, being the president.
But the principals at all those schools my children have attended, I made sure they knew who I was. One experience, I think, when Rosie and Algier were at high school at Tech, I would come on campus and I would—you know how big Tech is? Tech is a campus that is very large. In fact, it’s a college campus to me. I would be at the front, coming through the campus. I think it’s important to have a relationship not only with the teacher. You have to have a relationship with your children’s friends. They need to know that that’s Algier and Roosevelt’s mother, not because they’re trying to do anything. It’s about relationships. I had relationships with those kids’ parents. If my child is going to come to spend the night with you or vice versa—it was mostly them coming to spend the night with us, me and my husband—if they’re coming over, I need to know who your Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
mother, your father, your grandmother or who you’re coming from. They need to feel safe and know that their child is at my home. I’m feeding them. I’m making sure that they’re needs are met. The relationship is in place. Every principal, they knew me.
JB: At Tech, how do you meet the principal?
Ooo. Unfortunately, our parents today don’t go to PTA meetings. When that schedule is set, we’re going to have a PTA meeting, you need to be there before the administrator is there. You need to make your presence known. I went to every meeting, every parent meeting. That’s when I was appointed president here and then this one and this one. Parents weren’t just jumping up and down to do this. Why don’t you want to do this? Because this is what helps your child to navigate and helps you to learn. You have to understand what the policies and the procedures are of this school, what activities are out there that your child can be involved in and you have to know what is it that your children, what are their goals, what is that they like to do? When you go to elementary, you’re getting the primary, and then the junior high, it’s sticking to them. It’s starting to materialize, and then in high school, you need to know when they need to take all these different tests to go to college. You need to know if your child is having challenges in schools. Who do you go to? Do you go to the counselor? Do you go to the social worker? Do you go to the principal? Do you go to the superintendent? I have no problem going to anybody. (laughs)
JB: And have you?
I have. I’ve had meetings, because again, you have two children. They do not learn the same. I learned when I was in college—I had five sisters, four had gone before me and pledged. When it was my turn to pledge, they said, “Well, your sister came through…” I have nothing to do with my sister. I am my own individual. My children are two individual persons. This child over here learns differently from this child, so I have to make sure whichever learning styles they have, the counselors and the teachers know, don’t ever compare my children, because one did well in the prior and this one may be having challenges. Don’t compare. Let’s figure out what their learning styles are. That was very important to me. Me and my husband, we were different in learning styles, so quite naturally our children are going to be different. I wanted to approach it that I wanted to know who was in charge of having anything to do with my children.
It was very easy for me, because I’m a people person. I love people. I mean, I love people. And I see people just as people. If there’s a need to be met, my thoughts are, if I can help them figure that out, then if I was having challenges as a parent—being president of the parent group—there are other parents out there that may be having challenges. I had to be equipped to be able to help them. I have two sons over here. Then, parents had a way of being able to talk to me and I was able to talk to them through whatever situation it was. We were able to communicate. I wasn’t much older than the parents are today. You have to have something in here that can see beyond where you are now to be able to see.
[holds up newspaper clipping and photographs] This is Algier now, at 34. That’s Roosevelt over there, now with wife, children. And they’re very successful in what they wanted to do. I would have wanted one maybe to be a doctor or a lawyer. That’s not what they wanted to do. He [Algier] wanted to go to Ball State and be an architect and found himself there now owning his own business at Ball State, and this one over here [Roosevelt] married, happy with beautiful wife and two beautiful children and doing well financially. As a parent, you know, all you Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
can do is put your hands up and say, “Thank you, Lord.” They’re supporting themselves. But if you don’t take care of your business at the early stage for your children, you certainly have to look back at yourself. Did I, Janice, do everything as a parent to make sure that my children would be self-sufficient at the age of 31 and 34? I say, Yes. I gave them everything I had. First of all, I gave them my love. Then I gave them my support and I made sure the people around them were persons who could support them.
The gentleman who was just at the window a few minutes ago, his daughter now is 33 also. We were just talking about our children, how he supported me through a program through Eli Lilly, Novache [?]. Algier was very good at science, traveled all over the world. These were black scientists who took under their wings young people and helped them understand and process the things that they loved to do. Algier loved science. Rosie loved to work with his hands. Rosie wanted to be a chef, went to school, Sullivan’s in Louisville, didn’t quite grasp everything, but today he cooks better than I do. And I’m a good cook. But he watched me. Some children can read books and learn, but some children have to have hands on. When Rosie was at Tech, he was in that wonderful program, a culinary program. Anything you would give him, he would cook.
Algier could build anything. He looks at it, he processes and he can building anything that you want him to do. But when Algier was a little boy, Algier was eight or nine, he loved Lego sets. As a mom and as a father, we tried to go find the biggest Lego set we could find for him to build, not realizing that by doing that at eight or nine, at 34 now, he’s building. He’s an architect.
Rosie, he’d love to go in the kitchen and watch me cook. Parents have to realize, whether you’re in a single parent home, or as the world says, a father and a mother: When children are young, you are molding them. Whether it is in education or it is spiritual, children watch us. They feed off us. Now I know they have a part of me when I hear my children say, “Mom, you taught us how to do this. Step back. Let us do it now.” That tells me that in the early stages of school and all of those things, that impression was very important to them.
Why did we send our children to a public school? Well, first of all, we were not rich. Let me say that. We were not rich. We did not have a whole lot of money. But you know, I believe in public school education. I believe in it, because public education will only be as good as you as a parent will work that education. I don’t believe that children can’t learn in public education. I believe they can learn in public education, if they have the correct support system in place, from the side of the family home they’re coming from, from the school itself, the persons in charge of making sure children learn and they’re supporting each other.
And of course, I’m a Christian—I’ll make that very clear. I’m a Christian and I believe it’s just like a pie. There’s a third over here, a third over here and a third over here. The home, the church and the school have to work together to make it happen. That’s what happened for me in my life time. We embedded that in our children and today, you meet our sons…you know, kids grow up in their own homes, but in my house, we’re respected, because they were raised that way. They were raised that way in schools.
Teachers during my sons’ era, they called you. They got on the phone and they called you. That’s what happened with relationships. I made it very clear up front. If my sons are having difficulty in a subject matter, don’t wait until six weeks or nine weeks, you call me when you see their performance. If it’s two days, you call me. ‘Cause I want to know. And I want to get to the solution and how we can correct this. And I had to do that. I’ve gone and I wasn’t invited, but I went and sat in classrooms and I observed. I observed the teachers, how Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
they presented syllabus. I observed children’s behavior, some good and some not, and how teachers could get that back in check.
Sometimes, some teachers, they couldn’t get it back in check. I’m a strong believer that because you go to school for something does not mean you are there for that. You can go to school for something, but it’s not always what we’re called to do. I could go to school to be a doctor, but that might not be what I’m called to do. I need to work out of what I am. First of all, I’m a people’s person. I am called to help people and to be there and help them find their need. I can’t do it for them, but I know how to find someone who can help them.
I believe in IPS. I’ve always believed in it. I also believe that IPS cannot do a job by itself, just like I can’t do a job by myself raising my kids’ education-wise, because they have the equipment that I need and they have the child that needs to be there receiving it. I hope that helps you.
JB: Yeah, yeah! It’s so interesting, the navigating and the working with the teachers and the fellow parents. I was really interested in that. I think you said sometimes you might have a problem and you were pretty sure that others might have it, too. Can you give me an example of anything with fellow parents, that maybe you worked things out together?
One of the things would be, sometimes in parenting, you don’t always know how, sometimes you can have a child and sometimes not just know how to talk to the child. Sometimes when you’re angry and you’re child brought home an F. Let’s use that as an example. This child has brought home an F. And the parent wonders, “How in the world did you get an F?” Sometimes I would watch parents come in and talk to their kids and they just tear the kids down. My first question after the child leaves—you learn early, never have a discussion about a child unless it’s going to be something that all three of you can discuss and it will be something to help the child. Don’t talk about the child in front of the child with the parent. If the child left and you looked over the paper work, the process of how the child obtained the F, you have to go back and have a discussion.
Let’s talk as parents. Now, what as parents do we do not to receive a grade such as that? The child has received an assignment on Monday. Do you keep up with what your child’s assignments are? Does the child bring the assignment home and do you take a look physically look at what the child has been assigned? Or do you just say, “Do you have homework? Go and do your homework.” That’s not what you do. What you do, the parent or parents say, “Mark, let me see your homework.” Take a look at the homework and you see that they have to do this and this and this. “Okay, I can see this.” If the child can do this independently away from you or you think he can, you say, “Mark, go ahead and do your homework and then I’ll check your homework.” But if the child can’t and you don’t know the child can’t do it and you assuming that sending the child off to do something he can’t do, that child is going to do what he thinks he can do and then stick it back in his backpack, unless you as a parent say, “You know, I need to check your homework.”
Now a good parent is going to check that homework every day and make sure everything is right and you’re going to put it back in the backpack and that child is going to take it to school. But if you as a parent, you’re tired, you’ve been working hard, you come home, you’re frustrated and you haven’t even asked the child about homework…Now six weeks have gone by and the child has done six weeks of homework. Now the child is bringing home an F. You’re frustrated. “Why did you get an F?” Bla bla. You have to come back and ask yourself that. If you had been an efficient, clear-cut parent, you have already established that this child is going to make Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
an A or whatever. This child has been doing good work. If he comes home with an F, you got to look at yourself. Did you check the child’s homework? Did you make appropriate communication with that teacher? “If my child is having some challenges, you need to get with me. Don’t wait six weeks. You get to me within two or three days or a week.” Nothing should go past a week. If it goes past a week, there’s a block of communication that has not been made.
So what we did in our parent groups, we had sessions that would help parents to understand how to conduct good study habits for them and their children so that it would not be a surprise or shock. Some parents, you know, go into shock. We cannot be ashamed to say as parents, “You know, I didn’t do well in school, so I have challenges with helping my child with homework.” Or “I have challenges even going in to school to talk to the teachers about my child.” I became an advocate. If you have challenges in this area, we can help you with this. We have programs in place to help you with your child. We can even go to school with you and sit down. You call the meeting and I can tell you who to have the meeting with to come together in the lives of these children. Many of those we’ve done.
JB: This is interesting. Was this parent PTA or did you create your own type of group? Did you decide that your PTA did this [advocacy work]. Oh, yeah. We decided we did this, because this is the purpose of the PTA. It’s not just to sell cookies and candy. It’s to make sure—they had to report in and bring their report cards. These kids had to bring their report cards to these PTO groups, because there’s no way that there should be failure. There doesn’t have to be failure.
JB: I’m so fascinated. This is something I’ve experienced, too. You wanted your PTA to be something more.
More than that.
JB: It was about bringing parents together around supporting students. “How do I help my child?” Looking over the report card, talking about a process that involves communication with the teacher. That’s just so neat.
But it’s real. It’s real. Now, after all these years…all our children went to IPS. You can name my nieces and nephews and friends in IPS. Now we can look back and see our children grown, smiling, because they’re in professions and they’re doing things that they enjoy. As parents, we see each other once in a while and we embrace and we think about all those years that we did something together to make a difference for our children.
I was at a funeral on Saturday. I guess this man [attending the funeral] was 25. One was 25 and another was 31 and I had passed them by. As time goes by, kids grow up and they change. You change, too. But all those young people that I didn’t see, they came to me. My friend said to me, “It amazes me, Miss Janice, that after all these years, these kids still find you and embrace you.” And it’s not just the kids. The parents do, too.
To me, and this is just to me, we set the precedence for our children. Even when they grow up and they don’t like us sometimes--they think we’re old and don’t know anything, but we knew a lot. We knew to get them to the place that they are now. Now they’re able. My son Algier is single, but he’s happy. I see him on Facebook sometimes and how he talks. He doesn’t curse. He talks and he’s encouraging others. I see Roosevelt, married, beautiful wife, two beautiful children, encouraging others to do what’s right. So my living has not been in vain. Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
Even though their father and I are divorced now, I see that their father taught them the value of entrepreneurism. They both own their own business.
JB: Algier, from his picture, he has this great truck and he does barber work.
He built that truck. He took that truck. It was just an old tin truck. If you look up Algier Williamson up and you look up Bootleg Fancy by Algier Williamson. There are four or five documentaries that he’s done at Ball State. I’m just so…as a mother, I’m so proud of my children. It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m their mother. I’m their mother, but it has to do with a group of people over their life time. I prayed for my children, not so much to be successful, I pray for them to be good kids, good men.
Along the way, pertaining to IPS, I have known the superintendents, I have known the teachers, I have known the counselors, I have known the parents, I have known the kids. I would rank myself as being a successful parent out of IPS. Success to me does not come from where you live. Success comes from what you give. I cannot tell you. I was raised in Tennessee and I knew what the mold looked like, because I had it. I had it from my grandparents, from my parents, I had it from my aunts and my cousins, my neighbor. I had it from teachers who, right now if you went back to the city where I lived, Miss Pulliam, Miss Steele, those teachers who are still living who raised us in school. They would say, “There the Godwin girls go.” Or the Godwin guys. They know us from our parents raising us to do what’s right. My father would always tell us, “You treat people the way you want to be treated.” And I want to be treated right, so I’ve learned—I’ve made mistakes like all of us do, but you treat people right. Then what comes back to you is what you give.
All those times, I made a point to leave my job—I left my job with respect. “I have to leave to go to school to see about my kid.” Or “I have a parent meeting.” I plan it out, I go do what I have to do and I sit down and I talk. I don’t go in mad, cussing. I talk to people. And I listen to find out how we can come to a medium of making sure that my sons were successful. And it worked. The mold worked. I am a living testimony. I can do what I do here at the Martin Luther King Community Center. I’m able to implant that in other people and parents still come in my office.
A parent came into my office yesterday, a parent who’s having a challenge at one of the schools. She said, “Mrs. Cox, how can I handle this?” It always goes back to remembering back to how I handled it with my sons. You go to the school, you call a meeting with the principal and the teachers. Sit down. Do not get upset. Just talk to them about your concern as a mother. Whether it’s a man or a woman in that position, if you’re a parent and you really love children and you’re there for the right reason, you will listen. And it won’t be in anger, but it will be in love. I loved it and I still love it. I still feel that I’m being used in that area.
JB: Do you have any specific memories? I think everything you’ve said has been really, really helpful. I always check in to see if there’s a specific memory: challenges overcome when we sit down at the table with the principal, the teacher. It’s okay if you don’t want to, but if there is anything, it helps to have an illustration.
I have a friend who was a psychologist at IU-Bloomington. She was a professor there. We’ve been friends for years and I never thought about using her for anything, but it came one time that I needed to go to one of the schools for one of the kids. I needed to go with some heavy, heavy equipment. Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
JB: May I ask what the issue was?
My son was having challenges with learning, some academic issues. I took this person with me and I had called…everybody, the social worker, I called everybody I thought needed to be there. The only person who wasn’t there was probably the superintendent of the school system. Everybody else was there.
JB: Were you feeling that you’re son wasn’t getting what he needed?
I felt as a parent I needed to know, because I didn’t have the expertise in the academics. I needed someone with more training. I called a meeting and then I met with my friend who was at IU at the time. She said, “You know what? I’ll go with you, because I understand the process.” I said, okay, and I took her with me. I sat there and I listened to what they had to say. And she listened. I introduced her as a friend of mine. They didn’t know who she was. After the meeting, I didn’t say anything. She articulated, she introduced herself as to her position at IU. After that meeting, we didn’t have any more problems.
JB: May I ask what she observed or articulated?
She articulated that the process that was in place was not, they did not do the process correctly. Really, the things that they named out could really have been critical to the school system. I could have sued.
JB: Can you share?
I can’t.
JB: There were omissions on the school’s part and she pointed it out.
Yes, she knew. I wasn’t there to sue anybody. My goal was to make sure my child was successful again. But that was another lesson to learn. If you don’t educate yourself or you don’t know all the ins and outs, because you’re not an educator and you’re not a psychologist…that’s my challenge for 2013. You have all these young parents who don’t know the system, who don’t know that you can call a meeting with all these individuals, who don’t know at the onset of the school year, you have 45 days to file a certain type of petition. They can’t flunk your child. They have to do special testing. If you’re a young parent and you don’t know that, you become frustrated, because (sighs) it’s a frustrating thing for a mature person, let alone one who maybe hasn’t finished seventh grade or eighth grade or got pregnant at an early age. You’re young and the child is young and you want the child to be successful, but you don’t have the understanding or the wisdom to know what you’re supposed to do, or don’t know to call a friend or you don’t have a friend who’s mature enough, who is a professor at IU, who does know the system. You can just shut up and listen and they can articulate for this person on the other side of the table who can call out, “This is not right. You should have done that. This is what you should have….” Bla bla bla.
That was probably the roughest places. I had to go and defend my child. Come to find that after that meeting, my child did fine. He was put in a place where his comfort level was okay to learn. They didn’t have a place where you put him for automatic failure. That’s important, that’s so important. You have to know who’s responsible for your child and what they’re teaching him and where he’s supposed to be. And if not, as a parent, Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
it’s our responsibility to help them maneuver to where they should be. That was probably one of the most difficult places for me to be. But it wasn’t difficult after she sat there. (laughs)
Again, relationships are important. We learn in life that when we have relationships, a variety of people, that means there’s a variety of knowledge, wisdom, understanding. I have a friend over here who’s a doctor, a lawyer, have someone who works in the restaurant business. I have someone over here who’s a minister. That’s why you have to have diversity in your life. That way, it just helps all of us. My friend over here who’s a doctor has children in school, “Janice, tell me how do I work this?” They’re busy being a doctor, parenting is something… “Janice, can you tell me how we can maneuver through this.” “Sure, I can.” You help each other. That’s what community is. You help each other. I’m just grateful. I’m grateful. Anytime you can make a difference and help somebody, it’s always a plus.
JB: Community. Interesting. You created a community with teachers, your children, your husband, the principal and fellow parents. One of the things I look into when I’m asking people questions IS community, so…if you can give me a few more minutes.
Sure.
JB: You chose a school in your community and then you chose a school that was a little bit farther away…91 and 55. How did you end up at 55?
The school bus.
JB: Was 55 a special program, a magnet or…
It was a Montessori also.
JB: Oh, someone else did tell me that. The Montessori was at 55 before it went to 91.
Right.
JB: And now how did you make the decision to go to Marshall as a middle school--that was for the younger son?
That was for both of them.
JB: And was it a “decision” or was it a community [school].
No, we lived, the whole time my children were growing up, we lived off of Sherman Drive. Right down the street was School 11. School 11 was perfect for Rosie. When we decided to send him to John Marshall. We were right on the cusp of John Marshall and Washington Township [the were on the boundary line between IPS and Washington Township school district. John Marshall would be the school they went to. I was happy with John Marshall, because again, it’s the relationships you have. At that time, Carole Craig [see Carole Craig] was the principal there and I’d known Carole for many years. Carole was the next door neighbor to my in-laws, so I felt very safe. I knew the teachers there, a lot of the teachers there. Carole was the one who appointed me president of the parent group there. I got to talking and Carole said, “Why don’t you just be the president?” That kind of worked out. She knew that I would be heavily involved at John Marshall, too. Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
I didn’t mind busing them out. Then they took the bus to Tech. I’m okay with that, because I think kids need socialization. They need to learn, even at a young age, you start socialization. You have to learn how to be around people, learn to be around a diverse group of people. So if you train them up early in life, then when they get older, they won’t be scared, won’t be scared to be around this person or this person, because they have diversity. My son at Ball State, diversity. He’s a barber and he cuts hair. He cuts everybody’s hair. It’s not a certain group of people. He’s African American, he cuts their hair and he cuts everybody’s hair from every nation across the world, because it’s a melting pot of students from all over the world.
Rosie, the same way. Roosevelt is a diverse person. His wife is just finishing IUPUI in Early Childhood Development. The grandchildren go to a beautiful school, Oaks Academy, a diverse group of individuals. They know. They know the importance of putting themselves in a situation where they have to be around—this is the world. You can’t seclude yourself. You have to be around people. I didn’t mind them going to John Marshall or Tech. I did my research. They were good schools. I did my research. Do your research. Do your research.
JB: Tech, at the time when your boys came up, was it: You can go to any school you want! Or was it a magnet program? Or was it, This is your neighborhood choice?
No, it wasn’t a neighborhood choice. Rosie was in the culinary program and that appealed. That was the best for him. I did some research. Algier the same way. Algier was in the program that dealt with building. I knew that wherever they were going to be, it would have to be somewhere they were interested and there was something that was going to work with their minds to figure out where they wanted to go. Both schools were good for them. Tech was very good. From Tech, Algier did his research on Ball State. Ball State is one of the best schools there is for architecture engineering. Sullivan in Louisville is one of the best schools for culinary. Both of those schools, those counselors pulled those schools for them.
BJ: That’s great to here. That’s one of the things I ask is how did you figure out what to do next [after high school]? And it sounds like your kids had support from the [counseling] staff.
Oh, yes. We did our research on both. When you look at it, your children going to school—now, IPS wasn’t the only branches on the tree. We worked it all together. Algier and Rosie went to the Center for Leadership [ is she referring to the nonprofit? organization that offers workshops and mentoring for minority youth?]. They train one on one, they train men how to be men and young ladies how to be young ladies. We added that branch to the tree. There are always branches we can add to the tree. I kept my kids always in some type of [activity]. My kids did soccer, they did basketball, they did baseball. I made sure they were very active in their church. That church part was very important to them. It kept their spiritual attitudes in place. They were in the choir. They did dance ministry. You have to have all of it in order for them to be well-rounded and successful. IPS was a part of the piece. It was a very important part of the piece, because it was the place they were the longest during the day. I had to make sure that was in place.
JB: I appreciate all the information about the “extras” or maybe that’s not the right word. As you say, the “branches.” Was your experience raising the boys, how did it compare to your own experience growing up in Tennessee, the school piece? You felt this connection, school is important, you have to work at it, “As a parent, that’s my job.” [Were] there any changes in education trends, difference, or maybe things that were the same? Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
I too need to go back to school. I used to use the excuse that I was raising my children. Now, it’s my turn. Now the tables are turned. My oldest son and my youngest son, “Now, mom we want you to go back to school.” That to me that says that they understand how important it is, even for me, now. I’m older and I put so much into making sure my children had that…sometimes you lose yourself in the process, because you want your children so successful.
How does it compare to how my children…all of it compares to each other. We were just raised as to how important education is. My children see my sister, who’s an attorney (really two of them); my brothers who have retired now from jobs they had worked for their lives; and my parents retiring from jobs they had worked at all their lives. They see the cycle now. I’ve lived through my grandparents’ cycle. My children live mostly through their grandparents. My mother has now passed. My sons’ father’s father passed, but they lived up until their eighties.
Our children have not had baby grandparents or what you call, Mickey Mouse grandparents. Our sons have had solid, solid grandparents who held a high standard. Even in my second marriage now, my mother-in-law has passed—solid. My father-in-law, still living, 78-79 and solid. They have no excuse to say, I had grandparents that did anything. No, they didn’t. My parents, my father is 92, my mother died in April of 2012. My father took care of my mother. She had Alzheimer’s, she was on dialysis machine. My father did the laundry. He did the driving. He took her to dialysis. He took her to the doctor until she died. My father is still driving, still cleaning his whole house, still working a farm that my parents lived out on. They come from solid.
JB: You’re not their only legacy, they have examples.
And not only grandparents, aunts and uncles. My children’s aunts and uncles, my siblings. My siblings are not what you call “raunchy.” They are people who have goals. We have goals for each of our children. My sister’s children, my brother’s son. We hold a high standard to them, even though they’re grown, you still have a responsibility. I will tell that to my siblings [children] and my siblings will tell that to my children. They don’t hold back on that.
JB: So this extended family has high standards for how you live your life.
Even in your adult life.
JB: What is a Mickey Mouse grandparent?
Mickey Mouse grandparent means you’re trying to wear the same outfit your children are wearing. You have no standards that you’re holding up for your children. You don’t care basically.
JB: A Mickey Mouse grandparent is still into a youth…
A youth mindset. Mickey Mouse is so popular in everybody’s live. [Instead] I would say a parent who just doesn’t know that life has changed. And when life changes, in the sense of maturity, you need to change with it. We can’t stay going to Disneyland. We need to go to the Epcot Center. (laughs) Make the change. You can’t talk about the small things in life. You have to talk about the big things. (laughs) Williamson-Cox, Janice: IPS parent raising children in 80s-90s
JB: Your sons sound wonderful. I would love to get them involved in this history. May I send you an e-mail and ask if you would forward it to your sons or anybody you know who is raising children? These parents that come to you, they would be so welcome, too. Do you have any questions or do you have anything to add?
Thank you for the time. You brought back so many thoughts that I hadn’t thought about in a long time. It was such a good time to share with someone from a parent who really loves her children, her grandchildren. Also, to be reminded about how precious my parents are and have been to me and my family and how important it is to raise your children, not just by giving them stuff, but by loving them and letting them know and embedding in them at a young age the things that will affect them in the older age. Thank you so very much.